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August 18, 2022

Ridiculous Mad Max Ripoffs That Actually Existed

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Continuing the sub-sub genre of female-led Mad Max clones, comes the 1986 film Roller Blade from director Donald G. Jackson, the man behind Hell Comes To Frogtown. The film revolves around a mystical warrior cult, but instead of motorbikes or cars, these badass babes roam the post-industrial wastelands on roller skates. Yes, roller skates, no blades. In this twisted vision of a grim, desolate future, there is – you guessed it – a hideous demonic warlord who threatens to torture and enslave innocent victims.

Now it’s up to a strange order of roller-skating warriors with psychic powers to stop the villain, rescue his captives and rebuild the lost world. Part Mad Max, part martial arts film, part Baywatch, it’s a joke from a film that once again uses women for little more than eye candy, including plenty of unnecessary nude scenes. And exploitation aside, what’s worse is that it’s amateurish, even by the standards of other films on this list. Often the scenes are content to be filmed in a warehouse with a smoke machine, while many of the actors and performers don’t even appear to have rehearsed, let alone practiced, their martial arts moves.

Remarkably, as awful as the film is, it actually received at least three sequels, with Frank Stallone’s Return of the Roller Blade Seven hitting rental shelves in 1993.



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