Expensive Miss Manners: I posted on social media that I used to be excited to have acquired a stimulus verify. One touch upon my submit mentioned that others have been giving their checks to these extra in want, “possibly even members of the family.”
The remark was from the spouse of my cousin. She clearly implied that I ought to take into account giving funds to her husband, whom she has lengthy been separated from, and from whom she is financially impartial. (Her husband scrapes by and, not like us, was negatively affected by the lockdowns.)
My spouse and I disagree in regards to the propriety of the remark. One in all us thinks the general public solicitation crossed the road. The opposite thinks the remark positioned the spouse’s popularity in danger for the advantage of one other, and so was truly praiseworthy. Your ideas?
Demanding that individuals hand over their cash or they’ll get damage, the place the menace is to hurt their reputations relatively than their our bodies, is the social equal of a criminal offense. How the cash is then used doesn’t justify the technique of getting it.
Miss Manners realizes that she has described a fundraising approach that’s utilized by many charitable organizations. When she hears the phrase “but it surely’s for a very good trigger,” she is unfortunately conscious that the “however” implies that rudeness is being cited as a advantage.
Nonetheless, it’s by no means a good suggestion to submit about your monetary positive factors.
Expensive Miss Manners: I’ve gotten some unsolicited recommendation on how one drinks tea, and now I am frightened that will probably be chilly earlier than I work out how one can drink it. Maybe you would be form sufficient to reply a number of of my questions.
A distant acquaintance informed me that once you stir sugar into your tea, you are not presupposed to let the spoon hit the facet of the cup and make a noise. Is that true? How on earth is it achieved?
This similar acquaintance has additionally informed me that the milk and sugar have to enter the cup first, or I am doing it incorrect. However is there actually a protocol for that form of factor? How does one do it proper?
After I’m consuming tea and consuming a cookie on the similar time, might I put the cookie on the saucer subsequent to the cup, or does it deserve its personal separate plate?
Final of all, might I dunk the cookie within the tea, or is that form of factor not allowed? I suppose this query’s an extended shot, in mild of the three earlier than it.
Earlier than you blithely break cookies with these individuals, it is best to understand that you’ve got entered an issue so heated as to make American politics look bland as compared.
This matter of the MIFs (Milk In Firsts) vs. the TIFs (Tea In Firsts) is of nice emotional concern to individuals who don’t have anything higher to do. Scientific arguments about beverage temperature are cited. Class distinctions, about whether or not the tea is served in superb china or an earthenware mug, are made.
Miss Manners sides with the TIFs, if solely as a result of they can make the extra devastating characterizations of their opponents.
However certainly she will belief you to stir in the course of your cup with out clanking, and to dip your cookie whereas nobody is wanting.
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday by means of Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com. It’s also possible to comply with her @RealMissManners.
2020, by Judith Martin