Pricey Carolyn: I reside in D.C. I prefer it right here. My husband and I are each gainfully employed — not our dream jobs, however jobs which are extra good than unhealthy — my household is right here, I purchased an condominium in a neighborhood I take pleasure in.
Now, 5 years out of undergrad, my D.C. mates have all moved away from D.C.
I at all times heard this was a transient metropolis, however now I’m actually feeling it. My mates and their important others are off to new jobs, new commutes, new adventures. I’m nonetheless right here, doing just about precisely what I’ve been doing since school. And — I prefer it! However I’m lacking my group and connection, and likewise feeling just like the final one on the honest. It makes me really feel lame or boring for not having a extra dynamic existence or new “information” to share.
I’ve by no means thought it is best to transfer to chase mates — transfer since you genuinely just like the place you’re shifting to and the issues you’re doing there. However perhaps that concept is misguided? Any recommendation for this unusual transitory time?
— Final One on the Honest
Final One on the Honest: See your self as being first on the subsequent honest. Transience means individuals you care about transfer away, sure, but it surely additionally means new individuals are consistently arriving, hoping their new neighborhood shall be pleasant.
Your communities and connections will develop again should you nurture them with effort and with the vitality of liking your neighborhood sufficient to indicate its new individuals round. It received’t all go to waste when these individuals turn into the subsequent to depart. D.C. is transient however being in a single’s 20s is extra so, I’d argue — so the extra time you spend in any given place, the extra you’ll discover there’s a inhabitants that comes and goes, and a inhabitants that stays put. If the churn actually bothers you, then perform a little research and discover a neighborhood that has decrease than normal turnover.
In the meantime, there are different methods to not be boring than to maneuver away from a spot you take pleasure in — like studying and doing new issues, and having adventures that convey you again residence on the finish.
Pricey Carolyn: A colleague doesn’t know how one can be appropriately temporary in her workplace chitchat. She’s going to say, “Hello, how’s your day going?” after which discover a method to discuss for method too lengthy. I’ve tried saying, “I’ve a gathering” or “I have to get again to my work,” visibly standing up or having one foot out the door, and she is going to hold going! Typically she is going to say, “I am going to hold this temporary, I do know it is advisable get again to work.” However it’s by no means temporary. Please assist.
Nameless: Interrupt. Say [hands up in the “halt” gesture]: “Maintain that thought! I’m sorry to must interrupt you — I’ve a gathering.” Then goooooo.
Or does that learn “goo.”
When regular alerts don’t work, it’s okay to be extra assertive.
Write to Carolyn Hax at email@example.com. Get her column delivered to your inbox every morning at wapo.st/haxpost.